Xenon trip notes: - Took around 4.25 liters, likely 3.75 would've been easier to inhale entirely - tried to rebreath from balloon but failed to hold onto it properly after first inhale/exhale and lost some of it. Didn't feel much effect from rebreathing - thought of a topic to think about in advance - I don't have complete notes on what the original topic was but this involved a lot of thinking about how cruel I am to myself and how I wanted to shift to being nicer - I normally found this hard to think about and the xenon let me relax enough that I had a lot of freedom of thought - unfortunately the results of the trip (tldr optimize not just for trying to care about others but instead for caring about yourself and others) failed to be something I integrated sufficiently to keep trying this the next few days - feelings wise, it felt similar to nitrous but without a mild pain I often get with nitrous. Felt better but in a hard to define way; maybe more pure an experience? But hard to tell what's placebo and what was inherent about it - felt good feeling for more than 15m from taking it. My guess is that much of this was from habit of focusing on positive sensation and keeping it rather than xenon just naturally lasting that long - I expected more euphoria but didn't really experience this - subjective effects might vary a lot more between nitrous and xenon for more extended doses - this wasn't enough to test the anti-depressant effect of xenon